We Are The Truth!

We Are The Truth
Today is Adoption Blogger Day-part of the Joint Council of International Children's Services Call to Action- We are the Truth. Here is my story...

One year ago, on April 17th 2009, Victoria Irina Rae Elbe became a member of my family. The judge ruled in my favor to adopt this beautiful little girl. I met Victoria in Sept. 2008. I had to wait 6 month to return to court because her birth mother never filed appropriate paper work for her citizenship in Russia. Prior to meeting Victoria, I had been given photos and medical information. Her eyes in her photos are what initially captured my attention and my heart. I was drawn to her.
I accepted the invitation to travel and meet her. I was ready to go in three weeks time. I met her and I was, in all honesty, scared. What if I could not meet her needs? Those thoughts just kept going over and over in my mind. Additionally, I criticized myself about being a single parent, and am I being fair to her…..maybe there was a couple that would be a better placement for her. As the week went on, I fell in love with her and knew that I wanted to give her all of my heart and offer her a chance at a life outside of growing up in an orphanage. When the children turn 4 in Russia their placement changes and their chances of being adopted diminishes. Four for her was not that far off.

While in Russia, I learned that a family had come to meet her and considered adopting her, but declined due to her health issues. On my second trip, I did find out it was more than just one family, actually there were a few that declined embracing her and bringing her into their families. Victoria had not had much stability as it was. She was with her birth mother until she was two. At that time she was removed from the home and placed in a hospital for 5 month. Yes, 5 months, due to severe neglect. She had all kinds of things going on. Furthermore, the day she was removed, she was wrapped in plastic and handled with gloves because of the filth and parasite infestations on her body. She had some other serious health issues going on and was gravely ill. After leaving the hospital, she was in the baby home for a year and then I met her. Just after I met her, actually the day I left, she was again placed in a sanatorium (health facility) to assist with her health issues. I am not kidding, if you met this child today you would ask yourself, “What health issues?” Home, here with me, she is a completely different little girl than the one I met in Russia. She was shy, timid, and quiet. She is now full of life, affectionate, carefree, and strong willed (which I have decided was what gave her the ability to survive). I love my daughter, she is my own. She is my family.

There is much talk, concern, and controversy about the psychological problems institutionalized children face; head banging, rocking, self soothing, food hoarding, etc…… along with adjustment and attachment problems. I have experienced some problems that could very well be related to the fact that she was institutionalized; sleeping, adjustment issues, food hoarding (terribly in the beginning), defiance, testing boundaries, etc….some of these we still work on, on a daily basis. Of course some are normal 4 year old behaviors.

I know that my love for her must be unyielding, the same as any other parent with a child. I can honestly say that Victoria is a very happy, loving, affectionate little girl. She loves life! We love her tremendously. My family and I all feel truly blessed to have her here, home, where she belongs. She really is amazing!

Happy New Year!

Have I been bad about blogging, or what? Life is good! It is so hard to believe Tori has been home for almost 8 months now. So much has happened since my last post. I will just give brief updates.....

Tori loved "trick-or-treating". It did not take long for her to figure out there would be candy given at each door. I had to remind her as she approached the door to not just walk into the house like it was her home!

She finally had surgery on both of her eyes the beginning of November. We just had a follow up appointment a few days ago and both eyes are aligned and look great. She told us for almost a week about how the doctor made her go goodnight and made ouies in her eyes. Though he made ouies, she loves that man. Even when we went for her most recent check up, she very loudly yelled, "Bye, I love you!" and of course blew him kisses as we were leaving the office.

We had our six month post adoption visit from our social worker. I really like him. He is so laid back and always makes me feel at ease. His report was glowing and I was proud to send it off to Russia. He commented on how well Tori has adjusted and on how outgoing her personality is.

Thanksgiving was very fun for Tori. We spent it with Grandpa and Grandma Jones. It was the first time family on their side had met Tori. She is not one to give others an option about interacting with her. She is usually open to interacting and playing with just about everyone she comes in contact with.

The holiday season has been fun, to say the least. She really did not understand Christmas presents and such until Christmas Eve. She opened a gift she really liked that night, a laptop. I knew this would be great for her because she is always trying to use mine. It did not occur to me that she would not understand the gifts were for her to keep. She kept telling me she wanted to take it home, I mean telling me repeatedly! I continued to remind her that it was hers and we would take it home. A couple of times she came over to me holding her laptop and saying that she wanted to go home now! She was very concerned! After more presents the next morning and afternoon, she quickly realized that it was okay to attach to a few other gifts. It really was a very fun time for all.

I am finishing up a 6 week break from work and have enjoyed spending time with my beautiful children during this holiday season. I am off again all of April, in time for Easter and hopefully a trip to Oklahoma to visit family. I pray you all have a wonderful year and 2010 is awesome for you and your families.

I think I have finally conquered obtaining a social security number for her after 3 visits to the office. I am expecting it any day now, really need it for taxes! If any of you have adopted your child again when you returned from Russia and have info about how to do that, please let me know. I do feel at this point it might be the best option for me, considering the issues I have had just getting her a ss#.

It has been nice to log on here and see updates from my friends that I have encountered along the way, great to see pictures on families and wonderful updates of lifetime memories. Those of you still waiting, I am thinking and praying for you. I know it is hard. I was reading a friends post that ironically lives about a mile from me, and whose older daughter attends the same school that I teach at. We connected here and found out we are practically neighbors! They have had their first trip and are having a tough wait for the court return. I am familiar with the wait. I had to wait six months before I could hold Tori again and finally bring her home. It does make the holidays tough, which I really just plowed through last year. Hang in there Shelly! All of the sudden you will get the call, you are in my thoughts friend! Love and best wishes to you all!

San Manuel Indian Pow Wow

First pony ride

Halloween

Thanksgiving

Boat ride to see Christmas lights.

Christmas Eve

Preschool

I have enjoyed the month off of work with my two beautiful children. I teach on a year round schedule, so every three months I have a month off. No big summer break, but I really do like my schedule like this. I will be going back to work tomorrow for meetings and prep., starting with students returning on Monday. My next chunk of time off will begin the week of Thanksgiving and I will return to work after the New Year, 6 weeks because of the holidays…NICE =)

Dylan went to Oklahoma for 12 days this past month to visit family. He really had such a great time and came home exhausted. I know this for sure because when he is over-tired he walks, talks, and does very strange things in his sleep! This month took the award of weirdness so far in his life. He had a really bad dream and decided to take on his furniture while sleeping. Furniture won, he ended up with a black eye! We spent some time the next day researching bad dreams, mostly because he needed some reassurance that he is not psychotic. Sometimes these dreams happen and we really are unsure why. He does feel there might be a relation to some of the things recently in the news that occurred her in CA. Happy to report we have all been sleeping fairly well since.

Tori is done with Dr. appointments for a while, I hope! She does have a follow up eye appointment in a two weeks. I guess I should say at least a huge bulk of Dr. appointments are done with. I attended an IEP for Tori yesterday through the school district. It went really well. I had gone to the school district shortly after arriving home, requesting a speech and language assessment for her. Her medical information from Russia indicated she was speech delayed. I felt I wanted to tackle this right away and not wait for her to begin school. I gave the district some information on Tori’s background and the decision was made to do a full assessment on her; which includes speech, language, cognitive, health, etc…..They came to my home to do the assessment and hired someone that speaks Russian to assist. In a nutshell, she has no qualifying conditions for Special Education services. The conclusion, she is doing really well and has learned so much for just being her a short time. I agree wholeheartedly. After reviewing the paperwork I had given them from Russian doctors, they were not sure what to expect when they arrived at my home. Upon leaving my home and at the IEP, they were very complementary about what an amazing little girl she is and as to how well she is doing! She really is pretty amazing!!!! =)

Along those same lines, Tori has started preschool. This is her second week of attending. I was fortunate to find a lady about a mile from my home that runs a preschool out of her home in the mornings and offers daycare as well. For now, Tori has just been attending a few hours in the morning to get her used to it. Starting Monday, while I am at work, she will be going all day. She is really enjoying it and continues to learn so much!!!! =)

Ready for her first day of preschool!

All the fun stuff Tori made the first week of preschool, learning about the farm!

Dylan and Tori, Oklahoma style!

Tori, unsure about this stuff on the chip.